Dear Athena Athena thena thena ena na a a a, sorry, force of habit, but a little clue about the problem I am having.*
I am in love. In love with the most beautiful man that anyone has ever seen. Seriously, he is so unbelievably gorgeous that I can’t even put it into words – most of the time I literally can’t. Obviously he has no idea that I even exist. Why would he? I’m a shadow-dwelling nymph without a voice to call my own.
You’ve probably guessed by now that I am the victim of a divine punishment. Is it ok to say victim? Don’t want to risk offending you know who again! But yeah, I can’t speak unless I am repeating the words of others. Whatever anyone says to me, I just say it right back. I can’t chat, argue, complain, only mirror. I can still gossip though, because people forget that last part and think that I would be a good person to share their secrets with… there had to be one perk!
So anyway, I know my beloved by sight alone. But what a sight he is. There’s this totally smooth pool in my glade and, understandably, he spends ages gazing into it, admiring himself. Sometimes he’s there for hours, and I get to stand there and watch, drowning in his handsomeness, hoping that he might look up and notice me.
Annoyingly, his good looks are starting to become a hot topic in the woods, and I don’t think it’ll be long before all the other nymphs ‘just happen to be passing through’ my glade. I’m all for a bit of competition, but I’m worried that my curse is going to leave me at a disadvantage. Can you help me find a way to tell him how I feel before it’s too late? –say_it_again
*Editors’ note: following this, several similar repetitions were omitted for ease of reading.
Athena says: I’m just going to come out and say it: this is not the man for you. In fact, I don’t think he’s the man for anyone. From what you’ve said, I’m fairly certain that the only person he will ever be capable of loving is himself.
Apologies if this seems overly harsh or blunt. Sometimes I think that more harm than good comes of beating about the bush. There’s a part of me that hopes a sharp, shocking start to my response might snap you out of your romantic reverie… Don’t worry, I have more to say for when that wish inevitably doesn’t come true!
The only person he will ever be capable of loving is himself.
I’m now going to confuse the matter somewhat by pointing out that you and this young man do have something in common. After all, he too appears to be voiceless. Yet whereas you have a mind that is full of chatter and buzz, I imagine that there is very little going on behind those – doubtless – dazzling eyes.
You say that you know him by sight alone, but how much more about him is there for you to learn? He’s good looking, he knows it, his favourite hobby is looking at his own reflection. The guy is seriously boring. All he’s got to bring to the table is a pretty face, which you would eventually tire of, trust me. I realise that I’m repeating myself a bit here, but I want to make sure that my point sinks in.
Who we are is so heavily tangled up in the thoughts we express and the stories we tell.
I understand that being deprived of the power of spontaneous speech must have had a huge impact on your sense of identity. Who we are is so heavily tangled up in the thoughts we express and the stories we tell. However, just because you can no longer say them out loud, it doesn’t mean that these thoughts and stories are not a part of you. You are the same nymph that you always were: cheerful, charming, cheeky, chatty (on the inside), a girl who loves a good gossip. I can see why it would be tempting to latch onto someone else, but in the end this will only lead to you losing yourself further.
If you can find a way to free yourself of your feelings for this young man, to see him for what he is – a devastatingly handsome red flag – then I suggest that you spend some time focussing on yourself. Acknowledge your loss and how it has changed you, explore your new identity, remember who you are.
Now in an ideal world you would read this and instantly fall out of love (here I go repeating myself again!), but somehow I sense that this isn’t going to happen. And that’s ok. Sometimes the only way to move on is to make the mistake. Please don’t expect a happy ending, but if you really must find a way to tell him how you feel, then I do have some thoughts.
Sometimes the only way to move on is to make the mistake.
I think the hardest part about expressing your love is going to be getting Mr Handsome to look away from the mirror. You may have to experiment with loud noises, good smells, bad smells, forest creatures, and anything else you can think of before you achieve success. I’d be intrigued to find out what actually works. If he ever does tear himself away from his reflection, then you are going to have to be ready with your romantic confession. At the risk of stating the obvious, you can clearly write. Carve your feelings into tree trunks (with permission), scratch them into the mud, plant them in flowers, then all you have to do is get him to read it.
I should clarify that this is neither encouragement nor endorsement. It would be distinctly unwise to ignore the counsel of the goddess of wisdom, but if you insist upon doing so, then you might as well take her advice on the best way to go about it.
I’m going to repeat myself one last time and say that I don’t believe that this young man is worthy of your time, energy, or affection. I hope that one day soon, as painlessly as possible, you are able to realise this for yourself.
Dear Athena 