Dear Athena, I’ve always believed that when you’re given a second chance you should seize it with both hands. And yet now here I am, in Hades, with a literal second chance at life before me, and I’m not sure what to do.
My (still very much alive) husband has made the journey all the way to the Underworld to beg for me to be allowed to return to the land of the living with him. More miraculous even than his arrival here, is the fact that his request has been granted. My life really could be restored to me.
Of course, there is a catch.
In order for me to be set free, my husband must walk out from the gates of Hades ahead of me, never once turning back to check that I am following him. One reassuring glance over the shoulder and we are lost to one another.
He is eager to accept the terms and be on our way, but I am not so sure. I have no shadow, no breath, no footsteps. There will be so much silence echoing around him, urging him to turn around. Is it not perhaps better to accept what has happened, rather than raising our hopes only for them to be dashed once more? My first death was enough of an adjustment, I’m not sure that I could go through that again.
Whatever I decide, I worry about what it might mean for our relationship. I’m a regular reader of yours, and the case of back2life_back2reality gives me cause for concern about how I might cope with a return to the light.
And what if my husband fails? Will I be able to forgive him? Will he ever forgive himself? I don’t want to condemn him to a life of wretched grief and myself to an eternity of resentment. We have to be able to live (in his case) with the choice we make, so should I play it safe, or take the gamble? –don’t_look_back_in_anger
Athena says: Well I always like to hear from my readers, although it’s a shame it’s not in better circumstances. I am very sorry for your loss.
If it was entirely up to you, and you could leave the Underworld marching to the beat of your own drum, I know exactly what I would say in response to this question: “TAKE THE CHANCE!” However, if that were the case, I don’t think you would have written to me in the first place. The difficulty here, of course, is your lack of ownership over your own life. Your husband’s self control is all that stands between whether you live or die. That’s a lot of pressure, and I suspect that, given the choice, it isn’t a burden you would have asked him to take up. This is the sort of responsibility that you never want to hand over to someone else, no matter who they are.
Your husband’s self control is all that stands between whether you live or die.
It’s not even a question of trust. Your husband’s quest for your soul is real pluck the heart-strings stuff. You cannot question his devotion nor his determination. What you are querying, quite reasonably in my opinion, is his ability to withstand the greatest temptation. Sure he thinks he can do anything – don’t they all – but that silence will leave a lot of room for doubt to creep in.
It is quite possibly a hopeless endeavour. Your all-receiving host is unlikely to be ready for you to leave so soon. So the question is not whether you trust that your husband can do the impossible, but whether you trust that he will try. You’re worried about an eternity of facing failure, I would be more concerned about eternal regret. At least with the failure, you have the comfort of knowing that you gave it your best, that you attempted to change your future. Doing nothing might save you some pain now, but you may indeed find yourself looking back at this moment in anger some point further down the line.
You’re worried about an eternity of facing failure, I would be more concerned about eternal regret.
Your taste in reading matter is discerning in a number of ways. @back2life_back2reality did struggle with her restoration, and no doubt you would too. However, while some of the difficult aspects of her return to life are universal, many of them were specific to her situation. There is one particular difference that I would like to highlight. She chose to die the first time. She made a sacrifice, she said her goodbyes, she was as mentally prepared for death as it is possible to be. Can you say the same for yourself? You have been given the chance to say “hello again” to all those to whom you were unable to bid farewell.
Bearing in mind that a successful escape from Hades is most unlikely, there is still one goodbye that you get to say properly. Your husband has done the unthinkable in finding you again. Don’t waste this moment. Say everything that you would want to say if you knew for certain that this mission would fail, reassure him that to try is enough.
I’m sure you’ve read this before, but if you’re searching for further pertinent pearls of wisdom, then you might want to look at what I said to @thinking_outside_the_box. I can tell that you are thinking realistically, and I have been as honest with you as I can about your chances of escape, but there is always always room for hope. Don’t spend the rest of eternity wishing that you hadn’t let this opportunity slip away. After all, it ain’t over until the Muses sing!
Dear Athena 